The Rejection Challenge

Recently my friend made me aware of this website. :http://fearbuster.com/  A guy by the name of Jia Jiang over the course of 100 days went out of his way to be rejected. He was starting a company and he wanted some investors but he was scared of being rejected. So he gave himself a challenge to be rejected 100 times over 100 days.

This sounds all very well and good but after a few times being rejected, he found that people were starting to say yes. So he would ask some outlandish requests and people would say yes.

My personal favourite is, apparently, Jiang knocked on somebody's door and asked if he could play soccer in the guy's backyard. The answer was yes.

I would like you to join me in the 100 day rejection challenge that I am going to try. Everyday, starting from the 21st of May, I'm going to try to get rejected.

The thought of this challenge literally scares the s**t out of me but I know that if I can go through with it then I can probably accomplish anything I want and I think I might start getting results that have been alluding me over the years.

Jiang filmed his rejections and that is great. I don't think I am going to do that but it might be quite good to have that accountability. That's basically up to you.

Good luck and I hope it works out for you. I will come back in 104 days and tell you how it went.

Confidence Account

I few days ago I participated in a webinar presented by one of the authors of a Golden Hour book that I have a read a couple of times recently, it is called 6 Months to 6 Figures by Peter Voogd. You can find it on Amazon here.

Peter spoke for a couple of hours and although there was some technical difficulties with the production, it was very easy to see and hear Peter's passion and enthusiasm for his work.

One of the things that Peter talked about in his webinar was the concept of the Confidence Account. This is very important for me personally as I am slowing learning, especially over the last couple of months that confidence is crucial in all areas of life and there are some things that you need to do to build your confidence.

Before I talk about them I just want to say that some of the advice out there like "Just be confident" is about as much use as bucket on the Titanic. It's no use at all. However the advice in this webinar was very good and useful for people who are looking to build their confidence levels.

So what does Peter Voogd say about confidence? Basically confidence comes from doing the things you know you should do when you know you should whether you like it or not. For example, this morning I went to the gym and had a class between 8am and 9am. Yesterday I had done a workout which had knocked me out for want of a better phrase. I could have easily said to myself "My bed feels good and it would do me good to spend another couple of hours in bed. I had scheduled it though, it was in the diary so I forced myself to go there and although the workout was very tough and I felt absolutely knackered at the end, I felt good and felt more confident to get things done today.

Another important thing that Peter mentions is that every choice you make in your life is going to hurt your confidence or take away from your confidence. Or every decision takes you either closer or further away from your goals. So my going to the gym this morning took me closer to my goal of supreme fitness. If I had decided to stay in bed, I would have taken a step backwards.

We all have a confidence account and the more deposits you make into that account the better for you and the people around you. Salad or Fench fries? Go home or make another couple of calls? Go and talk to her or order another beer? (Actually that's a difficult decision).

"That pisses me off!"

I read this article yesterday. http://www.entrepreneur.com/article/245146 As the title suggests, it talks about the 6 behaviours that people in business loathe. It is a really interesting article and I would like to share my thoughts on that today.

The article was written by Adam Callinan and it says that he is an entrepreneur and a venture investor. It sounds as though he knows what he is talking about.

Anyway lets get to two of the  behaviours that people in business can't stand.

Number one, Don't do what you say you are going to do. This is a crucial one for me personally. My friend taught me that every time that you say you are going to do something and you don't do it, it chips away at your confidence so the fact that you don't go to the gym then that is not go for your confidence and you start getting into a rut and as my friend would say "it's all over."

Of course this is a business article and if you say to a customer/client that you are going to do something and you don't do it, your trust has gone and it is all uphill from there.

Number two, constantly looking at your phone. I must admit that I check my phone often throughout the day and if I am on the train then I like to look at articles or read mail on my phone. I don't think that there is much difference doing that than reading a newspaper for example. However, when you are with people that you know and you are in conversation with them, leave your phone in your pocket.

I totally agree with Mr. Callinan. It is really annoying for example when you are on a date and the other person is constantly on their phone. I must admit for me it doesn't do much for my confidence and at times I may think that they are planning their next date after this.

Also what really gets my goat is when people are walking along the street and have their eyes on their phone instead of the way ahead. You basically have to stop in front of them so they don't crash into you. Also if you are unlucky to be walking behind them when they are staring at their phone they are walking incredibly slowly and at times, especially in Tokyo it can be difficult to get past.

I will talk about the remaining pet hates over the next couple of posts.

Act upon what you read

The most important thing about reading on a daily basis especially in the area that I am doing is that you need to act on what you read. This is something that I haven't necessarily done very well in the past.

Basically it is all very well reading for one hour a day. This is great and I'm sure you will learn a few things, however, if you are just reading then you will be onto the path of getting information overload. When you are overloaded with information it can stop you from taking action and nothing gets done. I'm sure you have heard of the concept paralysis by analysis.

In his book 6 Months to 6 Figures, Peter Voogd says that most people operate on information overload as opposed to mastery. He explains that mastery should be at a level where you can comfortably teach a class on the subject you have just read about.

A lot of people will brag about the fact that they have read 50,70, 90 books this year. That is all very well and good but Voogd thinks that he would rather master 5 books that are congruent with his goals.

I think that Voogd is correct in his thinking but you have may have to read 50 books to find those 5 books to concentrate all of your effort on. So, initially read a lot and then concentrate on those books. That's my opinion anyway.

What I like about Voogd's approach is that he will read and read and study and study the chapter until, as I said before he is so confident that he would be able to teach the class. This is the opposite to what I do on occasions in which I am so keen to finish the book and get my 'book count' up that I will rush through it and not really digest what I am reading. This is not the best and it could be seen as a real waste of time.

Don't just read for the sake of reading. Really try to understand the information and use it in your life. That is what I am trying to do anyway.

Since starting this reading endeavour a few years ago one of the genres that I have read a lot of is the PUA/Seduction area. I think that this subculture was brought into the public's eye by the book by Neil Strauss, The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists. The Game brought this society into the public domain and I'm willing to bet changed a few guy's lives. I know that it has mine. Basically the premise of the book is to give men the power to seduce women and to charm them and date and ultimately sleep with them, because lets face it that's why men on the planet.

Of course there has been a lot of controversy about this book and the hundreds and possibly thousands of other people who have gone into the business of helping men like myself in their dealings with women. I must admit about 8 years ago I was very shy around a women. I didn't know what to say, how to act and I basically just let them take the lead which I have found out is totally the wrong way to go about it. Maybe I was influenced by my mother being the dominant parent in the household and so i thought when you go out on dates it is the women who should take the lead. No wonder I left a wake of grumpy women behind me but I suppose that you have to learn these things at some stage, it is just I was learning it in my mid thirties.

Over the years I have read many books on this subject. It is difficult to say which is the best as they all offer many different things and depending how far you are along in the journey they may be good for you and they may not. You just have to jump in and decide for yourself.

Along with the books there are many videos on youtube and there are many programmes that the various people put out there for your consumption. This can be hit or miss but the prices at times are not over the top and you probably pay more on a night on the town for what some of the programmes cost. Just be careful that you are not paying for something that you don't want like a weekly subscription. This can be quite costly. So make sure you read everything carefully.

If you are like me and you are still not comfortable around women then I highly recommend that you go to your local book store or on Amazon and have a look around to see what there is out there. Who knows, you may find things that can help you in your business life as well as your private life as I have found a numerous occasions.

I'm in the middle of reading Pitch Anything. This is a book by Oren Klaff. It is basically a book describing  how to deliver your pitch so it hits all the right buttons so that your prospect says "yes" and not "no" or even worse than that, "I'll think about it."

Today I was reading the section where Klaff was describing, what he calls The Intrigue Frame. Basically as the name would suggest you need to tell a story where it creates intrigue. People are waiting for you to finish. What's going to happen they are wondering.

What really interested me in my reading this morning was the part when Klaff talks about prospects or targets as he calls them, wanting to know how you overcame obstacles. They don't want to hear a story of you observing something. They want to see that you that you have beaten that problem and also that you live in the company of interesting people.

This got me thinking, this also happens in social relationships. I can only talk from a male perspective but it seems to me that women want to know that you are interesting, they want to know that you have friends and participate fully in that circle.

I think that the best part of this section of the book however is when OK tells us how to tell the story to create the intrigue:

• You are in a difficult situation
• There are problems being faced by you
• Then you show safety but leave it just short as that creates the intrigue

For anyone who has to pitch to people, and basically that is all of us, I recommend this book. As I said I am reading this for the second time and I will read it a few times after that.

In the beginning - an introduction

About four years ago a very good friend and I were talking about one of the self-help books that we had read. The book, written by Brian Tracy advocated the idea of waking up one hour earlier than usual and reading for that hour in your field. So what that means is that if you are a salesman you should wake up and read for one hour about sales, or if you are lacking in the relationship department then you should read for one hour about relationships.

This particular activity, Tracy called it the Golden Hour my friend and I decided to adopt it and so we have continued it. We have called it another name but the idea is the same, read for one hour and summarise what we have read and send it to the other person for the other person to comment on it and send it back.

At the beginning we only read one book but my friend soon got restless of this and we changed it to two or three books at a time. I think the record at one stage was twelve.

In the head to head stakes, my friend leads the number of books read but at the end of the day who cares what the score is as long as you get something out of it and apply what you have read.

This blog will a review of some of the books and topics that I have read about  in the last few years as well as a review of things that I have read in the current week. I urge you to not only read this blog but to go and read some of the books that are mentioned in the following posts. You don't have to buy them, I’m sure you live in a town like my hometown where the public library is full of books that are just waiting to be read by you.

Thank you for taking the time to read this blog and I hope that we are all on the way to financial security and freedom, great relationships and healthy futures.